Do You Have Discipline?

It’s not what champions know that sets them apart. It’s what they do. Don't get me wrong, learning is of course an important part of any personal development process. But most people who fail to reach their potential do so not because they don’t know what it takes, but because they don't do what it takes. That's true for each of us. We know what it takes to win, but the question is...are we willing today to make the difficult decision to do what champions do - what winning requires us to do - even when and maybe especially when we don’t feel like it? That’s the question that real success requires our actions to answer.

At its core, that’s really what discipline is. It’s the ability to do what winning requires you to do, even when and maybe especially when you don’t feel like it. It’s the intentional decision to take what you know needs done and turn it into the thing you actually ended up doing. Sometimes that action is major and sometimes it's minor. Sometimes it's public and sometimes it's private. But discipline almost always involves denying the urge to seek comfort, denying the urge to act on every impulse, and denying the urge to take the easy way out in your moments of testing. It requires an intentional choice, to put what you want most ahead of what feels good right now.

Choices like those are really important, but also really difficult. That's because as human beings, we aren’t hardwired for high achievement. We’re hardwired for survival. Since the dawn of time, we've been conditioned to identify and pursue the path of least resistance, mainly because for much of human history, life without that wiring would probably get you killed. For thousands of years, that mindset helped us survive. But in today’s instant gratification world, that mindset's made us soft. It encourages us to avoid the challenges and hardships of life that previous generations often had no choice but to endure. Today, our natural tendency is to settle for average.

This is the reason we don’t often do what we know we should do, and what we know winning requires us to do…because it doesn’t come naturally. The voice of our inner loser has gotten really good at highlighting and encouraging us to avoid anything that’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. That voice in our head starts justifying the easy way out, romanticizing the path of least resistance, and vilifying the pain and struggle of any disciplined decision. Once emboldened, that voice can really take over. It can convince us that living with discipline is more than something we've chosen not to do, but something we're incapable of doing. Your inner loser will work hard to keep you constantly seeking comfort, acting on every impulse, and taking the easy way out in your moments of testing. It'll keep you compromising what you want most for what feels good right now.

I want to challenge you today to recognize the unhealthy and unproductive voice of your inner loser, and in doing so to clarify the big idea here today, that discipline is a key component to your success - maybe the key component, in fact - and it’s a skill you can cultivate and develop. We said it already. In your moments of testing, you know what needs done. That’s proof there’s another voice in your head, what I call the voice of your inner champion, clarifying what winning requires you to do. But that voice needs strengthened and developed. It needs to be given more attention and more authority. It needs to become the driver of your decisions.

That means moving your feelings out of the driver's seat and into the backseat. Do those feelings matter? Of course they do. But if you want to win, your feelings aren't an effective driver of decisions. With your inner champion in charge, you can choose the more disciplined path, and in doing so validate that you are the kind of person who’s worthy of the winning outcome you say you’re after. The stronger and more empowered the voice of your inner champion becomes, and the more you train yourself to do the uncomfortable or inconvenient things you need to do, even when you don’t feel like it...the better at it you become. Every decision becomes an opportunity to prove to yourself - and to those around you - who you are and what you’re all about.

Developing your discipline isn’t easy, but it’s a fight those we consider champions in any area of life are committed to fighting. And while perfection in this area is impossible, improvement is attainable. So I’m not asking you today to dwell on all the places in your life where discipline doesn’t exist. We could all come up with a long list. But I am asking you to examine what role discipline currently plays in your winning pursuit, and to consider perhaps just one place in your experience where you know it needs to get better. Then, let’s get to work! Let's turn something that needs done today into something you actually end up doing. After all, it’s not what you know that sets you apart. It’s what you’ve developed the discipline to do that matters most.

-Travis

Like they do every four years, these Olympic Games have provided sports lovers like me with two straight weeks of competitive entertainment. I love seeing people rise to the occasion, maximize their talent, and perform at their peak with everything on the line. Those at the top of the medal stand inspire me - and maybe you, too, in some strange way - to want to achieve some big, important things of my own.

Ironically, though, I think I’ve spent more time than ever before watching those Olympic athletes who’ve shown up to Paris, reached the pinnacle of their athletic journey, given everything they’ve got…and come up short. In the past two weeks, I’ve found myself enamored by individuals joyfully receiving a silver or bronze medal, despite losing out on their gold medal dream by only a split-second or a fraction of an inch. I’ve seen athletes offer sincere congratulations to a fellow competitor who literally stole from them the winning outcome they've spent years working for and dreaming about. I’ve seen athletes who knew they weren’t gonna win continue to fight and scrape and claw their way to the finish line, despite the reality that receiving a medal for their effort was no longer a possibility.

I’ve found myself wrestling in those moments with whether I would be capable of such a response, and wondering what theirs says about the unique mindset and uncommon approach of these world-class athletes. Most people, after all, would be devastated by getting within a split-second or a fraction of an inch of their dream. Most people would spend their time and energy resenting the success of others instead of respecting it. Most people would justify that if they can’t win, then there’s no use trying. These Olympic athletes are undoubtedly driven by a deep desire to win, but their behavior in their moments of defeat indicates that they’re driven by something else, something that exists beyond winning, too. What is that, exactly, I've been wondering this week, and what can we cultivate beyond winning in our own experience? Here are three things to consider…

1) Process beyond winning. Nowhere in sports is a commitment to the process more dramatically disproportionate than at the Olympics. Think about it. These athletes train relentlessly, every day for years on end, all for the opportunity to compete in an event that in some cases lasts only a few seconds. That kind of commitment only comes from a deep respect and appreciation for the journey that even making it to that Olympic moment requires an athlete to embrace. No outcome can diminish the process it took to get there.

2) Pursuit beyond winning. Pat Summit was the winningest coach in college basketball history and widely regarded as one of the fiercest competitors in sports. She once famously said, “Winning is fun, sure. But winning isn’t the point. Wanting to win is the point.” For Pat Summit, and for these Olympians, too, I would guess, it was the relentless pursuit of victory that mattered most, as much as or maybe even more than the victory itself. This is the mindset of an elite competitor - someone who loves living life in the arena, who plays the game with courage, and who accepts that the pursuit of victory is worth the possibility of failure.

3) Pride beyond winning. Maybe most importantly, these Olympic athletes help to highlight the value of personal pride. There’s a standard of performance each of them possess that simply won’t allow them to accept anything less than their maximum effort, even when it’s obvious it won’t produce the outcome they’re after. Does that pride in performance make losing any easier in the moment? Of course not. But it does guarantee that they avoid the highest and heaviest price there is to pay - the regret that comes with admitting that you didn't give your best.

It’s easy to convince ourselves that there’s nothing that exists beyond winning, that that's the only thing that matters. But the world-class athletes I’ve watched the last two weeks have me questioning that theory, and wrestling with the part the process, the pursuit, and the pride of personal performance play in my own journey. I’m hoping here today their example can challenge you to do the same. 

-Travis

Champions Aren't Born. They're Built.

Kobe Bryant was the ultimate competitor. His mindset was so impressive it got its own nickname: the Mamba mentality. He was the kind of athlete many of us wish our kids could be. He was tough. Committed. Fearless. Clutch. And while that may be what we want, for most of us raising and developing young athletes today, that’s a far cry from what we’ve got. When we look at our kids, we don’t see the ultimate competitor. We see fear or laziness or embarrassment. We see weakness. Based on what we see, it may be hard to envision our kids ever having what Kobe had.

That’s why my favorite Kobe Bryant story is one from his childhood. He tells it at the 2:20 mark of this insightful interview. When he was 11 years old, Kobe spent the summer playing in Philadelphia’s Sonny Hill Future League, a breeding ground for high-level basketball. You’re probably picturing little Kobe dominating the league, hitting his patented game-winners and sneering ruthlessly as the other kids begged for mercy. But that’s not what happened. In fact, Kobe played the whole summer and scored – ready for it? – exactly zero points. Not a single made basket. Not a free throw. Not a lucky shot. Not a breakaway layup. He says himself, "I was terrible." His dad found him after the last game of that summer in tears, embarrassed by his performance.

Now that’s an image of Kobe that many of us raising young athletes can relate to! That’s the experience so many of our kids have as they grow up in sports, one filled with disappointment and doubt. I love that story because it reminds me of a simple truth that’s so critical to helping my own kids reach their potential, and yet one that’s so easy for me to forget. The truth is, champions aren’t born. They’re built. Despite the unhealthy narrative we construct in our minds – one that often fools us into believing that some people were born with a champion’s mindset, and our kids just weren’t one of them – even Kobe Bryant was crumbling to pieces as a kid. It validates that our kids aren’t broken or backwards. They’re kids! They’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet, and despite our occasional lapses in memory, we didn’t either.  

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither was Kobe Bryant’s “Mamba Mentality,” and neither will your child’s winning mindset. There's a process that every champion has to go through - a process of failing, of learning, of struggling, and then gradually of improving and eventually succeeding - both physically and mentally. If we have a genuine interest in helping our kids reach their potential, then we have to accept the reality of what it takes. We have to recognize that who they are today doesn’t have to be who they remain, and we have to accept the important role we play in their development process.

That’s the other part I love about that Kobe story. His dad, long-time pro basketball player and Philadelphia playground legend Joe “Jellybean” Bryant, had plenty of reasons to be disappointed after his son’s scoreless summer. And seeing his boy crying could have left him feeling embarrassed or even angry. Instead, though, Kobe said his dad simply looked him in the eyes and told him, “I don’t care if you score 60 points or zero points. I will love you no matter what.” Kobe pointed to his father’s words in that moment as a turning point in his athletic career. “That is the most important thing you can say to a child,” Kobe said. It was a seminal moment in the construction of his Mamba mentality.

There are some important reminders and some valuable lessons we can take from Kobe Bryant’s scoreless summer. We need to remember that our kids aren’t supposed to have it all together yet, and that developing the attitude and mindset of an elite performer takes time – even for the Kobe Bryants of the world. We need to remember that the hard stuff our kids go through can be a catalyst for their growth and development, if we recognize the opportunity it provides and use it the right way. We need to remember that our support and encouragement - especially in the midst of their failures and struggles - is so important to helping our kids reach their potential. And we need to remember that, in the end, champions aren’t born. They’re built.

-Travis

Keep Pounding the Rock

One of the biggest challenges we face in our pursuit of success is embracing the process that winning requires. It's tough to maintain your discipline, your commitment, and your resolve when your work isn't producing results. In this world enamored with instant gratification - where we’ve been conditioned to expect everything we want to come quickly and conveniently - winning usually requires us to wait for what we want. Our only option is to put our head down and just keep hammering away.

The 19th century social reformer Jacob Riis offers us some encouragement in his famous passage known as “The Stonecutter’s Credo.” It speaks to the power of the process, and the importance of the work that’s in front of us today - even if it isn’t always evident.

I don’t know about you, but when I envision that stonecutter, I don’t see someone lightly chipping away with a chisel. Chink. Chink. Chink. No. I see someone straining and struggling, leveraging all his bodyweight to hoist a heavy sledgehammer onto his back, then up and over his head, and then down onto that stone with all the force he can muster. 

Thwack!

Thwack!

Thwack!

That’s a powerful image that highlights the kind of effort it takes for any of us to create a breakthrough in any important area of life. It speaks to the discipline, the commitment, and the resolve required to keep giving our very best, over and over again, even if we don’t know when that big break is coming. It speaks to the compounding effect of our work over time, and the power of the process if we choose to embrace it.

It’s possible that today is the day that rock you’ve been pounding on has finally split open, and you’ve finally broken through and gotten what you’ve been working and waiting for. If so, congratulations! More likely, though, you’re not there yet. Chances are you’re here today as someone who’s facing the challenge of another day at work, hammering away on that rock still waiting to split. 

If that's the case, you may also find yourself asking the questions that the process regularly challenges each of us to answer. Is the work I’m doing today really worth it? Is it even making a difference? Does today really matter? When our progress isn’t obvious - when it doesn’t come to us quickly and conveniently, like we’ve been conditioned to expect - the voice of our inner loser is amplified. That voice encourages us to walk away, to give up, and to justify that what we want just isn’t meant to be.

That’s why the ability to listen for and respond to the voice of your inner champion is so important. The voice of your inner champion clarifies the mindset it takes to embrace that process. It’s the same mindset the stonecutter has embraced. No, I can’t see the progress, but I know it’s being made. Yes, the work I’m doing today is worth it. Yes, it is making a difference, and yes, it does matter. The process will test your discipline, your commitment, and your resolve. It exists in order to validate that you are in fact someone worthy of winning in this important area of life. Your inner loser wants you to walk away, but your inner champion is prepared and ready to pass that test again today.

In this world enamored with instant gratification, I want to encourage you to be more like the stonecutter. Embrace the process it takes to get what you want. Give your very best, even if you don’t know when your big break is coming. And keep compounding your effort day after day, including here on this day. Put your head down and just keep hammering away. 

-Travis